They Said I Wasn't Bold Enough

They Said I Wasn't Bold Enough

To be an individual that was

Interesting,

Memorable, and 

Worth Anyone's Time.

That I was meek

That I was small

That I wasn't Brave enough

  to make a Difference.

So I leapt in.

I jumped into the deep-end with only a slight knowledge

  of how to barely keep my head above water.

With friends for support

With a partner just a phone-call away

But still with the distance of thousands of miles
To keep me feeling alone.

I failed -- 

I failed a number of times.

But each taught me something new.

Be more assertive.

Be more of a leader.

Take action.

Rally.

Be strong.

Cry sometimes.

Admit defeat.

But learn.

Continue to always learn.

To feel the sting of the biting sidewalk

And remember to trip differently next time.

I may not be interesting.

I may not be memorable.

But I might be worth at least a few people's time.

And Bold isn't merely a font face anymore.

Dear Insecurity

Dear Me,

I know you won't heed my advice.
I know you want to learn you own lessons.

Make your own mistakes.

Live your own life.

And, by all means, you are welcome to.

But believe me, I've been there.

I've done that.

And I'm sure I'll do it again.

[one]

Heartache is temporary.
But real. 

Oh, so real. 

Feel it to its fullest.

Don't let anyone talk you out of being hurt. Being lost. Being devastated.

But know that it will fade in time.

Sometimes you will wish it faded faster.

Cleaner.

But a part of you will always miss the things you left behind.

The things you forgot to help yourself heal.

And part of you will always hurt because of it.

Each heartache is different.

A snowflake of intricate, sharp and biting pangs.

It will melt in time.

Spring will always follow Winter.

[two]

You are smart and strong and beautiful.

You do not feel this.

You will never feel this.

But wake up some days in the mirror and tell yourself these things.

Maybe some days you will believe it.

Maybe some day you'll be me with more confidence.

More love for yourself.

Try it.

For us.

[three]

Care about something.

It's easy not to..

And I'm honestly not sure how to advise you to do this.

I guess I'm just selfishly hoping you figure this out.

[four]

You Do You.

There's a lot of things I would stop myself from doing as a younger me.

There's a lot of things I would encourage myself to do more.

But the past is all part of me. Of you. Of us.

Hurt yourself.

Hide yourself.

Love the wrong ones.

Take the risky chances.

Learn you own lessons.

Make your own mistakes.

Live your own life.

I'll see you soon.